Monday, February 23, 2015

Least-popular Valentine's Day Surprises

1) Take her to a lovely Italian restaurant. After dessert get down on one knee, slide box across table, ask her to become partner in business that manufactures small boxes.

2) Buy her a card that expresses your feelings of love, passion and unbreakable commitment. Include 10-dollar bill.

3) Complain how holiday is too commercial and how it used to be about killing Christian missionaries. Then lean in for romantic kiss.

4) As a day dedicated to both romance and surprises, it’ll the perfect day to tell her you’re married!

5) In bid to mimic her teenage crush John Cusack, star in string of increasingly dispiriting direct-to-DVD thrillers.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Changes between the book and movie of '50 Shades of Grey'

Christian Grey less of a domineering industrialist, more of a superhero who dresses up in a costume and fights crime

Controversial ending of book in which Kim Jong-un is killed now removed

In bid to encourage concession sales, characters enjoy post-coital box of Raisinets

Adam Sandler does all your favorite hilarious voices as Christian Grey