Sunday, July 25, 2010

I'm Tired Too, Robert

So, a guy named Robert A. Hall has written a screed of warmed-over right-wing talking points, and I'm afraid I can't pass up the opportunity to mock some of them. Sorry.

I'm 63. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I've worked hard, since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven't called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there's no retirement in sight, and I'm tired. Very tired.

One of the most common right-wing tricks is to confuse good fortune with virtue. It's great that Robert worked hard to carve out a life and a living for himself, but the fact that he hasn't called in sick in seven or eight years is probably more luck than hardiness. There are people who work just as hard as Robert who get in car accidents or get cancer. They're no less hard-working than him, so maybe he should slowly climb off that cross. Don't cut yourself on the nails, buddy.

I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told that the government will take the money I earn, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it.

First of all, I love the ominous-sound reference "by force if necessary."Apparently the government should only enforce its powers that are helpful to Robert. Secondly, I'm not quite sure who he's writing about when he says the government is giving money to people who don't have his work ethic. If he's talking about people on welfare, he's wrong.

I'm tired of being told how bad America is by left-wing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros and Hollywood Entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers.

Those lefties are awful for always talking about how much America sucks right now! Now, please finish reading my rant about how America sucks right now.

I think it's cool that we have a black and that a black child is doing her homework on the desk where Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation. I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less arrogantly of an all-knowing government.

Condi Rice believes in freedom and the individual, unless of course you count being apprehended, imprisoned without trial and tortured as not being free.

I'm tired of being told I must lower my standard of living to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate.

"The power that provides electricity for my house now comes from a solar plant I've never seen, rather than a coal plant I've never seen! LIFE IS AN INSUFFERABLE HELL!"

I'm tired of illegal aliens being called "undocumented workers," especially the ones who are not working, but are living on welfare or crime.

Illegal immigrants are not eligible for welfare. Apparently one of the things Robert is tired of is doing research.

I'll let myself be subjected to all the humiliation and abuse that was heaped on terrorists at Abu Ghraib or Gitmo, and the critics can let themselves be subject to captivity by the Muslims, who tortured and beheaded Daniel Pearl in Pakistan, or the Muslims who tortured and murdered Marine Lt. Col. William Higgins in Lebanon, or the Muslims who ran the blood-spattered Al Qaeda torture rooms our troops found in Iraq, or the Muslims who cut off the heads of schoolgirls in Indonesia, because they were Christian.

You probably won't be comparing notes if they treat you like Manadel al-Jamadi, who was tortured by a CIA officer and a private contractor until he died.

I'm real tired of people who don't take responsibility for their lives and actions. I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination, or big-whatever for their problems.

So in short: Robert finished his long screed against government programs by telling people to stop blaming the government for their problems.

Seems about right.