Stop It. I'm Not Kidding.

Over the years, I've become rather fond of the English language.

Sure, I may be biased because we grew up together, but I like to think the relationship between me and the language is true love, or at least a pleasantly broken-in friendship. I've even fallen in love with its smaller virtues: Its pleasing rhythm, its limitless flexibility, its weirdly endless number of words you can choose from to refer to your butt.

So please understand the seriousness with which I write this: Please, please stop murdering it by using the phrase going forward.

I don't know how this phrase was invented, but it's spread rapidly, popping up in articles, journals, broadcasts and conversations.

I usually abide writing tics such as this; almost everyone falls into their traps from time to time. But what's especially galling about this one is that it's useless. If you say, We're going to make fewer mistakes going forward, what you mean is We're going to make fewer mistakes. The difference is that you spent two words wasting your readers' time.

Let's say that you want to tell a friend that you are going to take piano lessons. Seems simple enough, right?

You: I am going to take piano lessons.
Friend: Hey, that's great!

Now, let's add two more words to that first bit.

You: I am going to take piano lessons going forward.
Friend: Thank you for clarifying that you will not take piano lessons in the past. For a minute I thought you had invented a time machine and were going to travel backwards in time and take piano lessons.

See? The phrase going forward can ruin friendships as well as sentences.

Please, please avoid it.