Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Yet More Humor

Here is a short humor piece I wrote about the release of the latest Grand Theft Auto game. I would like to point out that this was written before The Onion wrote a similar list. So there.

New features in the upcoming version of Grand Theft Auto

In game’s most difficult setting, cops will actually come to your house and shoot at you.

Character spends 10 percent of his time committing violent street crimes, 90 percent of his time blogging about committing violent street crimes.

In fun nod to video games past, you can team with up Q*Bert to take chainsaws to rivals in the drug trade.

Setting is a thinly-disguised version of New York so accurate your character spends much of his time bitching about gentrification.

After controversy about previous version’s hidden sex scene, play is limited to more benign pursuits such as shooting prostitutes in the face.